Posts Tagged ‘Sad’

I’m lost as to what mood I’m in at this precise moment. Today has been a whirlwind. I was tired this morning, then agitated & moody, then talkative & excited then all the way back to agitated and moody. Can someone point me in the direction of “normal” (if there is such a thing?)! Sometimes I get so sick of all these “crazy” feelings that I want to wine, complain, scream, cry, pout, and burry myself under my covers! If you want the truth… some days are just down right shitty!!! Ok, Ok… I’m done complaining for now. I’m giving myself time to wallow and then I’m back to seeing the positive in life, even though it’s next to impossible sometimes. Closing my eyes hoping tomorrow brings much happiness. -XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’ve been having a rough few days. Over the weekend I’ve felt sad again. I think the meds have been making me extremely tired so being tired and sad it’s been hard to get up and do anything. Then to top it off I now have a horrible cold. I’m stuck in bead with a sore throat, stuffy nose, and headache! I’ll let you know when I’m feeling better, hopefully soon. - XOXO CrazyInHeels

Thanksgiving will be the first holiday that I will spend grieving the loss of Grandma. I’ve already cried while leaving the grocery store. I see all of the holiday foods to buy and it makes me sad to know that she won’t be the one cooking the fabulous dinner. How does one live up to Grandmas cooking?! Sometimes when I get sad I push the sadness away which is out of character for me. Today I let it takeover and I had a moment of sadness. I was wondering if it’s because my medicine hasn’t kicked in yet and I’m emotional anyways right now but I feel it was different. I can start to feel the meds working but it’s definitely not at it’s full potential. My sadness came from my heart. I truly miss her and I know that when we get over to see Grandpa it will be sad not to see her running around the kitchen and even more sad not to see her sitting at the edge of the table across from the man she was married to for 59 years. I don’t think I’m being too emotional, I shouldn’t feel ashamed of being sad, like I’m an emotional crazy girl that cries over everything. My tears are genuine and I”m going to let them fall as they will and know that it’s ok to acknowledge her and my feelings. I miss her so very much!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I got to see my doctor today… thank God!!!! I feel better just by going there. I have no problem admitting that I’m crazy and need drugs asap! She put me on a new drug Tegretol. So I’ll be on Lamictal and Tegretol. Hopefully this starts to make me feel better. I haven’t cried and screamed as much as yesterday. I got a little combative with my fiance yesterday, I was a little irrational. I can say that now, poor guy! It takes a lot to deal with us “crazy” people (I mean that in the nicest way possible). I’m trying to take care of myself and do things that aren’t stressful and take a lot of energy. I’m going to get through this, it will pass. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m going to try and stay positive even though my brain decided to slap me in the face this morning with a bad mood! I woke up yet again to another cranky and depressed mood. I have to try and make mysefl laugh about this depressed state of mind or I won’t make it through the day. I’ve been cursed with crazy thoughts and I can’t escape them. I just love to be so angry, cranky, sad, depressed, negative, crying, agitated, and frusrtrated… yea right! I want to kick up my heels for the day and crawl into bed, but I can’t and I won’t! I have to keep it together as best I can for now. I know deep down that these feelings will pass and I’m just having  “crazy” thoughts temporarily, easy said then done right?! I know, trust me, but what else am I gonna do? I wish I could give an honest answer when people ask me how my day is… oh the things I would say! Blah, blah, blah I’m lucky I have enough energy to write. Hopefully I make it till five without losing my mind in front of those around me (how embarassing would that be, or funny :p)

 - XOXO CrazyInHeels