Posts Tagged ‘Normal’

I’m stuck in between normal and annoyed, I’m in that kind of mood! I’m not making excuses I’m just saying that when you’re “crazy” you have days where everything and everyone annoy the hell out of you. I’m keeping positive and reminding myself that I have plenty to be thankful for. Sometimes you have to pick yourself up and carry yourself through to the end of the day, today is that day! I’m frustrated that I have a “mental illness”, I’m frustrated that I have to take medicine, I’m frustrated that I have stupid side effects from the medicine, I’m frustrated that I’m sensitive, blah, blah, blah. I just had to get that out! Sometimes you gotta take a second allow yourself to feel the feelings you have and move on. For now… I’m frustrated!!! I will accept these feelings work through them and move on. I can’t spend my days upset and focused on the problem, that will get me absolutely no where! I’m going to focus on the solutions and keep plugging away!- XOXO CrazyInHeels

Feeling good today  but I’ve still had some anxiety that presents itself in the afternoon?? Can’t figure out where it’s coming from so I’m assuming it’s comin straight from the big guy upstairs… meaning, I need to make some changes  in my life. What that is, I’m still trying to figure out. Maybe the anxiety wont come today since it’s Friday?! I still haven’t had any side effects from the new med Saphris, so far so good. My medication cocktail consists of Lamictal, Saphris, and Adderall XR. These medications work together to make me as “normal” as possible. For today I’m doing great! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m lost as to what mood I’m in at this precise moment. Today has been a whirlwind. I was tired this morning, then agitated & moody, then talkative & excited then all the way back to agitated and moody. Can someone point me in the direction of “normal” (if there is such a thing?)! Sometimes I get so sick of all these “crazy” feelings that I want to wine, complain, scream, cry, pout, and burry myself under my covers! If you want the truth… some days are just down right shitty!!! Ok, Ok… I’m done complaining for now. I’m giving myself time to wallow and then I’m back to seeing the positive in life, even though it’s next to impossible sometimes. Closing my eyes hoping tomorrow brings much happiness. -XOXO CrazyInHeels

“Being normal

isn’t one of

my strengths!”

Last night I had a full blown anxiety attack and I’m still trying to figure out why?? By the end of the day my body is overtaken by an overwhelming sense of tension in my upper chest and throat, as if I’m drowning in my own crazy thoughts. The problem is… I have no idea what is causing the anxiety, I feel happy (I think). This happens almost every day for me now but last night it got the best of me and I lost it. I must get to the bottom of this! When people look at me they have no idea much anxiety I’m carrying around. I look “normal” and happy, if they only knew! How many people walk around every day with similar feelings but hold it in? Everyone has their own battle, you just might not know what it is. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I was so excited yesterday because the Hypo mania decided to pay me a visit… awesome! but, of course, today I’m feeling a little bit moody and “bitchy” I suppose!I guess I didn’t really understand that I could have the ups and downs even with the meds, learning my lesson. I definitely don’t mind the ups (Hypo mania) or the “normal” state of mind that the medication is responsible for but the depressed, moody, bitchy, sensitive, and anxious feelings (just to name a few) I’d rather just kick in the ass (with my pointiest of pointy high heels) GOODBYE! I try to stay positive, most of the time, but for now I’de rather bitch and complain about the drastic swings of my mood from happy to sad, patient to inpatient, excited to anxious and oh… let’s through in a little bit (oh fuck it I’ll be honest) A LOT of anxiety!!! and see how this girls handles life… WTF!!!!! -XOXO CrazyInHeels

Busy running around. I’ve got to remember what my limits are. When to keep going, when to slow down, and when to say “NO”! I’m too crazy to be running around 24hrs a day 7days a week, I’ll lose my mind… not pretty! I’m having a good time with all of the excitment going on around me. Emotionally I’m feeling better than I have in a long time. I’m glad that I get to share in every one else’s happiness instead of lying in bed surrounded by dark sadness. I remind myself everyday of my accomplishments and strive for bigger and better goals. I’m the only one in charge of “My Story” and I can’t write a good one unless I get off my butt and do something. I of course will need the continued help of medication and my weekly psychologist visits! I’m doing everything I can to keep myself “normal”… and having a GREAT time now!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels