Posts Tagged ‘Moment’

I think that “busy” is probably my most common word right now! I’m constantly on the go with all of the bridal preparations. I’m so happy to be doing great on my meds, we’ve finally found the right “cocktail” as some would say. I feel like I have everything under control, I can manage the stress well, and most importantly I wake up in a good mood! Oh, and the other good factor is that the new med (Seroquel XR) is not making me gain weight… thank goodness, I have a dress to fit into! When the stress builds, and it does, I don’t lose my mind like I do un-medicated. There are no crying spells because I can’t find a parking spot, I’m not agitated at the many people I have to talk too, and I have patience. We all know how all of those crazy emotions fly right out of us when we’re manic depressed or even manic, and I guess you could  even say this happens when you think you feel “normal” and believe me… normal is not part of my vocabulary! For now I’m in control & enjoying every moment (except when people piss me off for a moment, and that has happened). Although I’m a little crazy (or a lot) I can still manage to go to work, work on schoolwork, work on a website, and plan a wedding… this is a huge accomplishment! Perhaps I should go shoe shopping as a type of reward for good behavior ;p – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I can’t believe how much one little pill can affect my life. I finally feel like I’m happy. Not a fake happy, a real happy that comes from within. I’m finally at peace with losing my Grandma. I miss her dearly but have allowed myself to walk through the grieving process. When I take a moment to remember and let myself cry if I need too, I feel better. My new med is helping me regulate my emotions. I wake up in a good mood and stay in a good mood. Life will bring happy days, sad days, disappointing moments and cheerful moments but I feel like I’m fully capable of dealing with whatever comes my way. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Holy Bananas!!! I’m all over the place manic right now! My thoughts are flyin by a million miles a minute and I can’t even focus on one thing long enough to grab one down and focus on it. I’m super excited to be feeling this way! Finally I’m out of the depression, at least for  this exact moment, I can’t make any promises about what will happen in the next half an hour, it’s a roller coaster… what can I say?! This is why people call us “crazy”. I feel like I could run a 15k marathon and still have enough energy to go home, clean the house, make dinner, run another marathon, have the BEST sex of my life and then get right back out there for another marathon! I’m going, going, going but with nowhere to go. My mind is whizzing by. Even as I type I’m amazed at how my thoughts are altered for this moment. I’m euphoric, captivated by this new found happiness. The only downer… how long will the ride last and when it’s over willI crash?! Yikes!!! In the meantime I will remain optimistic and get as much done as I can possibly think while I have the energy. This is FABULOUS!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’ve been busy working around the house this weekend. Sometimes that’s just as exhausting as running around all day. I’m getting better at slowing down and saying no so that I can take time for me and relax in order to bring my thoughts and feelings back to a slower speed. Being “crazy” has forced me to take a closer look at my life and adjust accordingly. I’m at a point where things are good. I’m able to get out of bed and feel as though I have a purpose. My thoughts are usually positive but I still struggle with anxiety, I’ve GOT to take control of my thoughts. It will happen! I’m here in this moment and excited that today is good for me. I’m starting to find that middle ground somewhere between Manic & Depressed. My depression has subsided & the grief from the loss of manic is passing. I’m happy being in the middle as close to normal as I can get - XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m not sure if my meds are working particularly great today or if it’s because it’s Friday (or both) but I’m in a great mood today. The anxiety about my anxiety that camps out in my throat is not as bad as it normally is, at this moment. I’m happy to be me and happy to be at the emotional mood I’m in at this moment. All I can do is be present in this moment. I’m making an effort to relax & take time for me. If I’m constantly on the go I know that at some point I’ll come to a screeching halt (lose my mind) not a pretty site! Since I’m now going to be tackling the art of “Cognitive Thinking” I might grab a book and read up. I need to get a better control of my thoughts ASAP!!! (say a prayer!) - XOXO CrazyInHeels