Posts Tagged ‘Frustration’

As much as I would love to be superwomen, running from one task to the other, it’s nearly impossible to get everything done that I want to get done. After my wedding I’ll be back in full force, providing insight into my crazy life! I’m trying to soak in all of the wedding excitement, enjoy the moment but, unfortunately… it’s been a challenge. I’ve been reminded that life isn’t always “peachy”! Sometimes things happen that just knock me right of my heels, I look up and wonder how some people can be so negative, selfish, and completely ignorant! What I must remember is that I CONTROL MY HAPPINESS, NO ONE ELSE! I’ve been telling myself that for years, but sometimes the “grandiosity” characteristic of manic (inflated feeling of superiority, wanting to fix someone who’s ill, but can’t) must gently subside so I can get back to my shopping, martinis, socializing, and for the love of my shiny red stiletto’s…. be happy! Seriously, these “mood busters” as I’ll kindly refer to them ( a few choice words do come to mind) oh, where was I, trying to forgive and forget the negative people that want so desperately to steal my happiness because they aren’t strong enough to find some of their own! I had a great weekend, and most importantly I’m marrying my handsome, none the less, best friend! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I started saying OMG making fun of everyone that says it because everyone abbreviates everything and it seems like such a “tweeny” think to do (is that even the right label??) but then I started saying it ALL the time, negating all reason for saying it in the first place! OMG!! HAHA Anyways, back to my life, which is sooo normal it’s crazy! I’m so happy that we have FINALLY found the right cocktail of medications again. If you’re in the middle of a med change, or need to make a med change, or you’re so sad right now… please know that it’ll pass! Go to the doctor & work with them on starting meds or simply making some adjustments. There is no reason for you to continue living in sadness, moodiness, craziness, agitation, and frustration… come to the light! I’m fully medicated and loving life again, heels and all! I’m able to meet with friend for a martini, shop at the mall w/out losing my mind when I can’t find a parking spot, enjoy calling friends to catch up, enjoy going to work, and of course getting dressed up for a night on the town…. heels… check… dress… check… makeup… check… I feel alive again!- XOXO CrazyInHeels

My mood is lifting with each new day. I’m feeling much better and am getting back to being the CrazyInHeels girl that I am. I look back over the last few months and I can see all the warning signs of hypomania and manic depression. I went from an extreme high to an extreme low in a matter of a day or so. The hypomania was great and I look forward to it’s return. The depression can stay away! I haven’t been myself lately and that made me very sad. Those closest to me saw a difference as well. Now they get to see me return to me and it’s nice to hear people say that they see me going back to normal. I hate crying in the middle of the day for no reason, having an extreme lack of energy, experiencing extreme agitation & frustration, being highly combative, being filled with anxiety, and feeling completely hopeless. It’s horrible to be us when were depressed. It feels like your stuck in your own hell and you can’t get out. I’m so thankful that I have access to meds! I can’t stress how manageable my life is when I’m medicated. I’m genuinely a happy person, I work hard, I’m confident, and I’m in the scope of reality!!! Life is so much easier when I’m medicated and I strongly suggest you seek medical attention if you think you could be bipolar. You have the potential to live a normal healthy life but you have to be willing to admit that you’re “crazy”… much love!!! – CrazyInHeels

I can now look back at the crazy girl I was un-medicated and laugh. I was one CrazyInHeels girl (ok, so I still am)! I remember when I was such a drama queen. Every little thing that happened to me was a BIG deal. Let’s take for instance the on more than one occasion I have cried because I can’t find the right shirt to wear. Oh my goodness, who does that? I would get this feeling in my body that was of pure frustration. I would get so mad that I would seriously just start ripping clothes off of the hanger only to throw them onto the floor, while crying, over something so silly. I can’t begin to put into words how my body used to feel. It’s as if all emotions had taken over and I just wanted to scream. I was irrational and extremely emotional The feeling would start in the pit of my stomach and work its way all the way up my body until it would come out of my eyes in tears, the whaling around of my arms, and possibly throwing something (yes, I was totally nuts). It’s a strong feeling of udder and complete frustration mixed with a little bit of anger, not a good combo! I’m happy to report that now that I’m medicated I have a normal response to stress i.e. finding the right shirt to wear,very stressful…  a girls gotta look good :p I’m able to cope with the minor details of life without losing my mind, and ransacking a room! Does anyone know what I’m talking about?  – XOXO CrazyInHeels