Posts Tagged ‘Excited’

Yay, I’m still in a good mood. The new med is working great!!! I’m thankful I was able to take the week off of work to get back to the crazy silly girl I am but I’m going stir crazy…. so … stir crazy & mental crazy, what a combo! I’m excited to get back to reality. I have a few friends getting married in the next month so I will be VERY busy for the next few weeks. I’m looking forward to being able to celebrate, the crazy girl I’ve been the last month would not be able to stop crying long enough to make a toast. I didn’t think I would ever get back to “me” but I did and I’m excited to get back out there, heels and all!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I can only think about one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. I must allow for patience, very hard sometimes! I think I’ve finally found the right med, and I’m not gaining weight, yay! For the last month I’ve felt like a human guinea pig as I tried three different medications. It was definitely frustrating, to say the least. I’m happy to say that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel… “normal life” I’m thankful that I was able to take the week off so I could focus on getting better without the added stress. I’m actually excited to go back to work because I’m going stir crazy and day time television sucks the intelligence right out of a person. I’ve kicked my heels up for long enough, it’s time to get back to reality… & being happy!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Holy Bananas!!! I’m all over the place manic right now! My thoughts are flyin by a million miles a minute and I can’t even focus on one thing long enough to grab one down and focus on it. I’m super excited to be feeling this way! Finally I’m out of the depression, at least for  this exact moment, I can’t make any promises about what will happen in the next half an hour, it’s a roller coaster… what can I say?! This is why people call us “crazy”. I feel like I could run a 15k marathon and still have enough energy to go home, clean the house, make dinner, run another marathon, have the BEST sex of my life and then get right back out there for another marathon! I’m going, going, going but with nowhere to go. My mind is whizzing by. Even as I type I’m amazed at how my thoughts are altered for this moment. I’m euphoric, captivated by this new found happiness. The only downer… how long will the ride last and when it’s over willI crash?! Yikes!!! In the meantime I will remain optimistic and get as much done as I can possibly think while I have the energy. This is FABULOUS!!! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m lost as to what mood I’m in at this precise moment. Today has been a whirlwind. I was tired this morning, then agitated & moody, then talkative & excited then all the way back to agitated and moody. Can someone point me in the direction of “normal” (if there is such a thing?)! Sometimes I get so sick of all these “crazy” feelings that I want to wine, complain, scream, cry, pout, and burry myself under my covers! If you want the truth… some days are just down right shitty!!! Ok, Ok… I’m done complaining for now. I’m giving myself time to wallow and then I’m back to seeing the positive in life, even though it’s next to impossible sometimes. Closing my eyes hoping tomorrow brings much happiness. -XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m not sure if my meds are working particularly great today or if it’s because it’s Friday (or both) but I’m in a great mood today. The anxiety about my anxiety that camps out in my throat is not as bad as it normally is, at this moment. I’m happy to be me and happy to be at the emotional mood I’m in at this moment. All I can do is be present in this moment. I’m making an effort to relax & take time for me. If I’m constantly on the go I know that at some point I’ll come to a screeching halt (lose my mind) not a pretty site! Since I’m now going to be tackling the art of “Cognitive Thinking” I might grab a book and read up. I need to get a better control of my thoughts ASAP!!! (say a prayer!) - XOXO CrazyInHeels

I hopefully get my internet on Thursday so I’ll be up and running with updates on my crazy life.

I increased one medication to keep up with the metabolizing of the new medication and I seem to be doing much better! I feel settled into the new place and most importantly I feel safe. My anxiety has subsided and I’m actually excited to get home instead of scared for my life. I live in a nice neighborhood that is completely safe but my crazy paranoia had taken over my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. My life was chaotic and taking a toll on my overall mood. I’ve slowed down and payed attention to my feelings which has gotten me to a better state of mind. My fiance and I are bickering less and “lovingly” talking to each other again. My “bitch” side has left so we’re definately back to  having a good time. You’re bound to go through the rough patches but that’s what makes the good times so much better! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’ve successfully made it through shopping, wrapping, baking, being a maid of honor in a December wedding followed by Christmas the week after without ending up in the psych ward, yay! Now I just need to conquer New Years and moving. I took a lunch today and ran to the store to buy a new pair of heels to match my dress for New Years, so that put a smile on my face. When I was walking back to my car I started to think about my mood. I feel like I’m here but that I don’t have the full range of emotions that I’ve had before… I mean what girl doesn’t get super excited after buying a new pair of  heels?!  I’m not easily excited and I’m definitely not depressed, thank goodness. I’m here but I feel bland. Is this just something we deal with because if we don’t take our meds we lose it? Will I feel like this forever or is my body still adjusting to my new meds? I miss the total crazy days when I would wake up at 5:00 AM with out the alarm clock and be super excited about the day. A therapist once told me that no matter how good those hypo mania feelings were it still wasn’t a normal feeling… damn it, I really like those feelings! I have the next four days off so I’ll be all around town running errands, shopping, socializing, celebrating New Years, packing, moving and hopefully I’ll end up relaxing with a great glass of wine at some point. A girls gotta kick up her heels once in a while.  – XOXO CrazyInHeels