Posts Tagged ‘Emotions’

I’ve successfully made it through shopping, wrapping, baking, being a maid of honor in a December wedding followed by Christmas the week after without ending up in the psych ward, yay! Now I just need to conquer New Years and moving. I took a lunch today and ran to the store to buy a new pair of heels to match my dress for New Years, so that put a smile on my face. When I was walking back to my car I started to think about my mood. I feel like I’m here but that I don’t have the full range of emotions that I’ve had before… I mean what girl doesn’t get super excited after buying a new pair of  heels?!  I’m not easily excited and I’m definitely not depressed, thank goodness. I’m here but I feel bland. Is this just something we deal with because if we don’t take our meds we lose it? Will I feel like this forever or is my body still adjusting to my new meds? I miss the total crazy days when I would wake up at 5:00 AM with out the alarm clock and be super excited about the day. A therapist once told me that no matter how good those hypo mania feelings were it still wasn’t a normal feeling… damn it, I really like those feelings! I have the next four days off so I’ll be all around town running errands, shopping, socializing, celebrating New Years, packing, moving and hopefully I’ll end up relaxing with a great glass of wine at some point. A girls gotta kick up her heels once in a while.  – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I believe that I feel more deeply than those that are “normal” does that mean that I overreact to situations in my life that are not so problematic? When those around me let me down, and that’s bound to happen, how do I deal with my feelings? How do I know when I’m too upset? There are times when I can take a step back and remove some emotion before I react but sometimes my thoughts and feelings come pouring out of my mouth without any thought, this can get me into trouble. How is a crazy girl supposed to deal with difficult life situations, let downs, and hurt feelings? My feelings run deep in my blood from the top of my head to the tips of my heels and I take things very personally. I’ve learned that you can’t run from difficult situations, you have to face them head on or they just get worse. I’m just going to try and remember to cool down, rationalize the situation as best I can, try and understand where the other person is coming from, and have a calm conversation. I hope this works. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I wish I could feel for one day what it would be like to NOT have such a “crazy” mind. What do normal people think about with so much rational thinking going on… how boring?! If I try to rationalize myself out of a situation I find that I’m in worse shape than when I started. My mind is not capable of the steps involved towards a rational decision. Mine are based on emotions. I’m an emotionally charged CrazyInHeels girl. I try to step back and understand the feelings I have so that I don’t unleash on someone. Please remember that when you’re down your not yourself. You’re very sensitive, irrational, emotional, and combative. Learn to recognize the feelings that your body is going through so that you can handle them in a more productive manner. The more you pay attention and tune into your body the better off you’ll be. Talk to a therapist, read books, check out informative websites, and join a chat group with others that are “crazy’ so you can better understand your “crazy” self. Embrace who you are and consider yourself lucky that you get to experience life with more emotion and feeling then someone that is normal. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I can now look back at the crazy girl I was un-medicated and laugh. I was one CrazyInHeels girl (ok, so I still am)! I remember when I was such a drama queen. Every little thing that happened to me was a BIG deal. Let’s take for instance the on more than one occasion I have cried because I can’t find the right shirt to wear. Oh my goodness, who does that? I would get this feeling in my body that was of pure frustration. I would get so mad that I would seriously just start ripping clothes off of the hanger only to throw them onto the floor, while crying, over something so silly. I can’t begin to put into words how my body used to feel. It’s as if all emotions had taken over and I just wanted to scream. I was irrational and extremely emotional The feeling would start in the pit of my stomach and work its way all the way up my body until it would come out of my eyes in tears, the whaling around of my arms, and possibly throwing something (yes, I was totally nuts). It’s a strong feeling of udder and complete frustration mixed with a little bit of anger, not a good combo! I’m happy to report that now that I’m medicated I have a normal response to stress i.e. finding the right shirt to wear,very stressful…  a girls gotta look good :p I’m able to cope with the minor details of life without losing my mind, and ransacking a room! Does anyone know what I’m talking about?  – XOXO CrazyInHeels