» Emotional

Working Through My Emotions

Nicole — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 23:04:59 +0000

I’m not going to say that I’m feeling 100% better than Friday but I’m making progress. I went to my Grandpas for dinner last night and when I was faced with the flooding of emotional sadness and grief for my Grandma as I walked in, I embraced the feelings and took a minute away from everyone to cry. I’m starting to feel like some of the tension held up in my body from all of these emotions is finally escaping. Every time I cry I feel like I take one step closer to life without anxiety and the lump in my throat. I’ve pushed these feelings deep down for too long! I’ve been on a new med (Saphris) for almost a week now and feel like my overall mood is beginning to lift. I felt like I was stuck on an emotional rollercoaster that kept flying right past the stopping point, no one was in control. I feel a little foggy in the morning and sometimes feel like I’m lucky I can find my way to work :p but other than that it seems to be doing the job (without the weight gain!). For now I’mstrolling through every day (in heels of course) with a renewed sense of happiness because of the new meds and my ability to finally allow myself to grieve. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Getting Out Of Bed

Nicole — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:06:31 +0000

December and January are the hardest months to get myself out of bed. Is it the meds or is it that my crazy mind wants to stay hidden in a bed under the sheets?! Today my mind was stricken with anxiety. It came out of the blue and camped out in my mind and thoughts all night. I know it’ll pass so I look forward to falling asleep in hopes that when I wake up I’ll be back to normal. I’ve learned to live with the anxiety when it happens, I continue to go about my day with little interruption. I look OK from the outside but I”m overwhelmed with worry and fear on the inside and for what? Absolutely nothing! Besides the anxiety my overall mood is more stable. I’m excited that I’m not an emotional wreck right now! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Emotionally Charged

Nicole — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:40:13 +0000

I wish I could feel for one day what it would be like to NOT have such a “crazy” mind. What do normal people think about with so much rational thinking going on… how boring?! If I try to rationalize myself out of a situation I find that I’m in worse shape than when I started. My mind is not capable of the steps involved towards a rational decision. Mine are based on emotions. I’m an emotionally charged CrazyInHeels girl. I try to step back and understand the feelings I have so that I don’t unleash on someone. Please remember that when you’re down your not yourself. You’re very sensitive, irrational, emotional, and combative. Learn to recognize the feelings that your body is going through so that you can handle them in a more productive manner. The more you pay attention and tune into your body the better off you’ll be. Talk to a therapist, read books, check out informative websites, and join a chat group with others that are “crazy’ so you can better understand your “crazy” self. Embrace who you are and consider yourself lucky that you get to experience life with more emotion and feeling then someone that is normal. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Crazy Reactions

Nicole — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:56:08 +0000

I can now look back at the crazy girl I was un-medicated and laugh. I was one CrazyInHeels girl (ok, so I still am)! I remember when I was such a drama queen. Every little thing that happened to me was a BIG deal. Let’s take for instance the on more than one occasion I have cried because I can’t find the right shirt to wear. Oh my goodness, who does that? I would get this feeling in my body that was of pure frustration. I would get so mad that I would seriously just start ripping clothes off of the hanger only to throw them onto the floor, while crying, over something so silly. I can’t begin to put into words how my body used to feel. It’s as if all emotions had taken over and I just wanted to scream. I was irrational and extremely emotional The feeling would start in the pit of my stomach and work its way all the way up my body until it would come out of my eyes in tears, the whaling around of my arms, and possibly throwing something (yes, I was totally nuts). It’s a strong feeling of udder and complete frustration mixed with a little bit of anger, not a good combo! I’m happy to report that now that I’m medicated I have a normal response to stress i.e. finding the right shirt to wear,very stressful… a girls gotta look good :p I’m able to cope with the minor details of life without losing my mind, and ransacking a room! Does anyone know what I’m talking about? – XOXO CrazyInHeels