Posts Tagged ‘Depression’

I’m happy to be medicated! Is it possible to still feel a little manic when you’re on two mood stabilizers? I have no problem with this, who doesn’t like the manic high, but I don’t want the lows of depression when it subsides?!!!!! Definitely a great question for the doctor tomorrow… -XOXO CrazyInHeels

Happy that I am consistently waking up in a good mood and that I’m able to get myself out of bed. I’m still not a morning person but I feel as though I have a reason to get out of bed. Last night I was relieved that my anxiety did not make it’s daily visit. I went home and was able to cook dinner, clean up, do laundry, and catch up with friends all with a happy attitude It’s crazy to think that because of a few small pills the “crazy” thoughts and depression are subdued. – CrazyInHeels

I feel like grabbing a martini after work to let lose. Sometimes a couple of drinks does help after a long day, not too many though! My thoughts are slow and my energy is low. I saw the doctor today and we increased my Tegretol. I’m hoping to see better results in a few days. I asked the doctor if my energy and interest in things that I once loved would return because at this point I’m hopeless. It’s crazy how your mood can just diminish within a few days. I have a loss of interest, lack of energy, and sadness that doesn’t go away. I started crying at work yesterday for no reason. Thank god I work at a small office with women who are more than understanding. I’m trying to pull it together as best I can but it’s so very hard. I can’t just make these feelings go away, oh… how I wish I could. Keep your fingers crossed for the new meds. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I am so very excited to report that I’m feeling like myself again. I have climbed my way out of the deep black hole of depression that was closing in around me. I actually turned the radio up in the car and bounced around with the windows down this morning. That’s how I know I’m in a good mood, I listen to music on the way to work. I didn’t feel like I was stuck in the same routine of absolute hopelessness that I have been so graciously blessed with the last month or so. I thought for sure I was going to wake up in a bad mood for the rest of my life, not even a brand new pair of heels would cheer my up :p I’m back to living, loving, feeling, and laughing. I am my CrazyInHeels self. – XOXO CrayInHeels

In the midst of my mental break down I’m trying to find an affordable place to live, plan a wedding, and be a supportive soon to be wife while my fiancé tries to find a career… OVERWHELMING to say the least. How do you conquer being a good friend, soon to be wife, and employee while your smack dab in the middle of a mental breakdown?! You lose touch with your friends because it makes you tired just to think about picking up the phone to dial let alone have a five minute conversation. I feel guilty for not having dinner on the table, not doing the laundry, and most of all not wanting to have sex. I wouldn’t want to be married to me sometimes. How do you balance everything while trying to take care of yourself? I’ve got to pull it together before I get to work in the morning so I can focus on my job. I try to continuously remember that this feeling will pass. I just need to go through the motions. Some days will be harder than others but that’s when I can lean on those in my life that I can turn to for support. You can’t get through these times by yourself. Reach out to those you can, it helps! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

It was a little hard to get out of bed this morning but I did it anyways. As the morning progress’ I’m happy to report that my mood is significantly better than yesterday. I have more energy than the last couple of weeks. I think it makes me feel better just to go see my doctor and then know that I’m starting a new med that will make me feel better. Almost a relief that the happiness will return soon. I’m returning to a “normal” state of mind (whatever that is) without the manic depression or, unfortunately, the hypo-mania. I’m easier to talk to but not overly talkative. I’m not confined to my bed because of depression. I’m not combative and angry. I’m not overreacting and irrational. I’m coming back to me.  -CrazyInHeels

My fiance noticed a difference already this morning. I’m sure he’s jumping for joy on the inside.

Today I feel like there’s hope for my mood to return to a somewhat “normal” status. I know the good mood is there and I can ALMOST reach out and grab it. The meds are kicking in. Just the feeling of kowing that I’m close is what’s getting me through the day. I meet with my doc in a couple of days to adjust my meds and I know it’ll be even better after that. I wish I could run right into my her office and get an IV of meds shot right into veins for instant happiness. If only it were that easy! I know it sounds cliche but I’ve lost interest in the things that I love, I’m sad, I cry for no reason, I sleep all the time, I’m not talking to my friends, I’m tired and have no energy. I’ve crashed into depression and am trying to climb my way out of it. – XOXO CrazyInHeels