Posts Tagged ‘crazy’

Happy that I am consistently waking up in a good mood and that I’m able to get myself out of bed. I’m still not a morning person but I feel as though I have a reason to get out of bed. Last night I was relieved that my anxiety did not make it’s daily visit. I went home and was able to cook dinner, clean up, do laundry, and catch up with friends all with a happy attitude It’s crazy to think that because of a few small pills the “crazy” thoughts and depression are subdued. – CrazyInHeels

Checked in with my doctor (Nurse Practitioner) yesterday for a med check and everything seems to be looking better now. I think I’m finally out of my depression and back to my normal self, half a year later! I wake up on time, work all day with focus, get excited about things in my life that make me happy, and spend more time with friends. It’s nice when people around me notice a difference and let me know. I’m going to check in with my psychologist just to get some guidance on an even better mindset & help me with grieving the loss of someone close. Thank god for therapists, every one should have one on their speed dial life is so much more manageable with one whether you’re crazy or not. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I hopefully get my internet on Thursday so I’ll be up and running with updates on my crazy life.

I increased one medication to keep up with the metabolizing of the new medication and I seem to be doing much better! I feel settled into the new place and most importantly I feel safe. My anxiety has subsided and I’m actually excited to get home instead of scared for my life. I live in a nice neighborhood that is completely safe but my crazy paranoia had taken over my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. My life was chaotic and taking a toll on my overall mood. I’ve slowed down and payed attention to my feelings which has gotten me to a better state of mind. My fiance and I are bickering less and “lovingly” talking to each other again. My “bitch” side has left so we’re definately back to  having a good time. You’re bound to go through the rough patches but that’s what makes the good times so much better! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’ve been on the move since last Wednesday,I’ve barely had time to breathe.  This is when it’s soooo important for me to know what my limits are and more importantly for me to not go beyond them. How do you take time for yourself when you’re so close to Christmas but still have so much to do? Yesterday I felt the anxiety kick in around 9:30 pm when I realized that I had not stopped since I woke up.  A crazy girl has got to take a step back, kick up her heels, and relax every once in a while. If I dont I will turn into a cranky, tired, frustrated, angry… ok I can say it… “bitch” to all of those around me (God be with them). I can get that way in .2 seconds, don’t let the cute face fool you. Do you have any idea the emotions that are flowing through my body after I have worked all day, almost ran someone over in the parking lot, walked around the mall in my heels for two hours, drive home in traffic, walk the dog, make dinner and then… have sex?! No wonder I’m crazy! I told my fiance last night that I MUST relax at somepoint over the next twenty four hours because this is the time that I can “trigger” myself into a totally crazy state of mind. I’m trying to remember what the Holidays are all about so I can appreciate all that have in my life. I might be a crazy chicwith lots of shoes but I definately have a lot to be thankful for! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I got to see my doctor today… thank God!!!! I feel better just by going there. I have no problem admitting that I’m crazy and need drugs asap! She put me on a new drug Tegretol. So I’ll be on Lamictal and Tegretol. Hopefully this starts to make me feel better. I haven’t cried and screamed as much as yesterday. I got a little combative with my fiance yesterday, I was a little irrational. I can say that now, poor guy! It takes a lot to deal with us “crazy” people (I mean that in the nicest way possible). I’m trying to take care of myself and do things that aren’t stressful and take a lot of energy. I’m going to get through this, it will pass. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

My body is tired even though I slept for ten hours last night. Just a few weeks ago I could run all day on three hours. I received an email from a friend and it made me tired just to think about my response. I’ve had three caffeinated beverages and my eyes are still half way shut. All the life has been sucked from my body. I try to go through the motions but it wears me down. All I want to do is sleep with the hope that when I wake up I’ll be back to normal, so far I’ve been let down every morning. I try to keep my positive thoughts in place. Life can be hard when you’re crazy, the all dreaded horrible mood is inevitable, but if you educate yourself and consult your therapist you will learn that there are things you can do to help yourself. For instance, I don’t have any major converstationss with my fiance that have to do with major life changes i.e. wedding decisions, where we’re going to live, financial decisions, etc. I’m fully aware that I’m crazy, sensitive, and irarional at the current moment so I’m not even going to attempt a serious conversation. I also know that I’m highly combative so if I start to get mad at someone I try to take a step back and put those feelings on hold so that I can deal with them once these “crazy” feelings subside. Since I’ve communicated to those closest to me that I’m feeling very “crazy” right now, they are more prepared to deal with me when I’m mad, sad, angry, frustrated, crying… etc. I’ve made an appointment with my doctor to review my meds, getting sleep, and taking time for my myself. These are all things that I can control to help get me back to me, I’m just going to have to hang on till I’m back to me. – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Today is better than yesterday. The anxiety has taken a vacation for now… thank god! I’m noticing that my patience lever is non existent though. If it’s not one thing it’s something else.  I’ve dealt with enough stimulation for today and my brain is on overload. When I’m super busy and am being pulled in five different directions I feel like I’m on the verge of insanity. The agitation and frustration rise. I love being busy but for some reason my body doesn’t.  I’m still tying to figure out why my body reacts one way when my thoughts are totally different… oh yea I’m “crazy”. It’s times like this that I have to remember that the feelings will pass. I just need to pay extra attention to how I’m feeling and take care of myself. I’m not any less of a person if I don’t work late, if I need time alone,  or if I need to vent. Find out what works for you and make sure you do it. I personally will probably drive home w/the windows down singing at the topic of my lungs and then hang with myself for a bit when I get home. This gives my emotions, thoughts, brain, and body time to regroup. - XOXO CrazyInHeels