Posts Tagged ‘Closer’

Interesting thought… “Does God make us uncomfortable with the comfortable when we don’t listen and try to do things our way in hopes of redirecting us?” Is anxiety in fact a divine intervention,if I may, that screams “TIME FOR A CHANGE, YOUR WAY IS NOT THE RIGHT WAY!!!” I never thought of this but it seems to make great sense when you start to think about it. Like I’ve said many times you are the author of “Your Story” and only you can write the ending. If you’re not happy with ANY aspect of your life… change it! Seems simple right, not always the case! What can I do today to make my life better… happier. I’m not going to get any closer to happiness if I continue to sit back, relax, and wait for the changes to happen. I’m confident in the fact that for today I’m doing everything I can to better myself and continue on the path of self discovery and happiness. I’m taking meds, seeing my doctors, continuing my education, yoga, and eating healthier. I control my happiness, not my “crazy” disease. Who or what controls your happiness, is it you?! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m not going to say that I’m feeling 100% better than Friday but I’m making progress. I went to my Grandpas for dinner last night and when I was faced with the flooding of emotional sadness and grief  for my Grandma as I walked in, I embraced the feelings and took a minute away from everyone to cry. I’m starting to feel like some of the tension held up in my body from all of these emotions is finally escaping. Every time I cry I feel like I take one step closer to life without anxiety and the lump in my throat. I’ve pushed these feelings deep down for too long! I’ve been on a new med (Saphris) for almost a week now and feel like my overall mood is beginning to lift. I felt like I was stuck on an emotional rollercoaster  that kept flying right past the stopping point, no one was in control. I feel a little foggy in the morning and sometimes feel like I’m lucky I can find my way to work :p but other than that it seems to be doing the job (without the weight gain!). For now I’mstrolling through every day (in heels of course) with a renewed sense of happiness because of the new meds and my ability to finally allow myself to grieve.  – XOXO CrazyInHeels