Posts Tagged ‘Angry’

Where am I today… somewhere in between normal and crazy. I guess maybe this is where I’m supposed to be since I’m “crazy”. The last week has been rough. I’m happy and normal all day and then something switches to the on position and I’m angry, sad and agitated… WTF?! We’re adjusting my meds accordingly, hoping to get to the exact dosage my body needs, tricky task I must say. In the mean time I feel happy at times but with the lingering possibility that I can go from zero to crazy in point two seconds. I guess sometimes you just have to grab on and hold on to the possibility that “normal” will return, at least I hope. The feelings of “losing my mind” will slowly slip into yesterdays memory. For now, I’ll hope for a best and enjoy my time off as I travel along the journey… back to normal! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

I’m trying to relax on a beautiful Saturday afternoon but my body is extremely anxious. I can’t stop my thoughts from wandering to uncomfortable feelings. I’m angry, sad, and worried. What am I worried about? Who knows, I can’t figure it out.  I feel an impending sense of doom and I don’t know where it’s coming from or why. I can’t shake the angry feelings and I have the unexplainable feeling of losing my mind. It’s almost as if there are so many anxious feelings flying around in my head that I could explode, lose it. I wish it was Monday so I could get into my doctors office right away. It makes me even more anxious that I can’t see her right away. I feel like my heart is pounding so fast that I could have a heart attack and die, my head is pounding, my hands are shaky, and I have shortness of breath. I wish I could just be normal! – XOXO CrazyInHeels

Today I was ready to rip out all of my hair and scream at the top of my lungs while throwing my body into a complete temper tantrum on the floor. Yes ma’am, you heard me right… I’m in my late twenties and I was about to throw down like a two year old little girl that was just told no by her daddy! My body was taken over by absolute frustration, my patience had worn thin, and my brain was on overload. I was in the middle of five tasks that needed to be completed in 30 minutes and I was being pulled in five different directions. I felt like I was about to burst. I didn’t know which task to focus on and was too busy trying to figure it out to notice that ten minutes had flown by. My sense of a “normal” reaction to stress was drifting further and further away from my scope of reality. I was so focused on how mad I was that I wasn’t able to finish everything I wanted too. I knew if I stayed later than normal I wouldn’t be able to calm down and my negative feelings would carry over into the night. This is a “trigger” for me, working too much when you’ve exhausted your “normal” state of mind. You’ve got to recognize when you’ve had too much stimulation and/or stress for the day. Listen to your body so you can take a step back and regroup. It’s ok to take care of yourself! – XOXO CrazyInHeels